Music Maestro?

School Site: BMS
Subject: Band

I never learned how to play an instrument, my dad had a guitar that we always took out around Xmas time, strummed an incoherent song, and then promptly put away. That was the extent of my musical exposure until I was in high school, where a friend of the family gave me all of 4 lessons on how to read music. The point I'm trying to make is, with the exception of my voice and an innate sense of rhythm I really do not have a lot of experience in band, at all so, of course I was excited to sub for this class.

I get in, grab my key, and head to the band room. I check out the lesson plan "P 1-5 make sure they play the whole time"…  ok. Before school even starts there are a number of students who wanted to practice, cool! be my guest. Thus far it seems like people want to be in this class, unfortunately my experience has told me to not let my guard down until the end of the day.

In the lesson plan it mentioned that each class had a conductor, if I did not know how to. While I have no experience in conducting, I would imagine it is not hard, what I did not know, however, was the songs they were working on, so I let the student conductor take over, they were excited to do so,  i mean how often do you get to take control of your peers as an adolescent?

Period 1: Advanced band

Mostly 8th grades, a talented bunch, they had the most music to work on, there were instrument I usually only see in band, I mean how often do you see a Bassoon solo? They got through their set list quickly and then it was like, "Now what do we do Mr. C….?" Umm… So, they went over some other random songs and then back over the concert set list, let me tell you I head mary had a little lamb so many times today.

Period 2: Intermediate band

This group was a little more apprehensive about playing, but they were actually really good, their conductor did great, they too sped through the set list and so she started having people do solos, and sectioned off portions of the various songs, "Now just the clarinets…Now the flutes and trumpets, etc." This was a great solution to filling in time, I'm glad she was able to keep the class on track.

Period 3: Beginning Woodwind

This, I hate to say, was probably the least experienced group of the day. I don't really have a lot of room to talk because I'm sure if I tried to play one of these instruments I would sound pretty horrible, but with nothing to really do this was probably the most painful class to sit through. I commend their effort, but this is definitely why they are in class, to practice practice practice. This period's conductor was wonderful, she had them go through the set list, and then various other songs, basically she just kept them engaged the whole time, and this is really the key with Middle school kids. This group needed practice, but they were a good group of kids.

Period 4: Beginning Brass

When I read the previous sub's assessment of this class I was worried, "Rude and disrespectful," Uh oh. So I laid down the fear of god, i.e. The AP, and they were actually really good with me. No one really knew how to conduct in this class, which I'm sure was part of the behavioral problem the day before. We made it through though, and I can't help but think, how does this band director place his students? This class was saturated with Trumpets with some trombones, tubas, and french horns, but there was also a flute and a clarinet. Their sound was completely washed out of course, but I imagine this was the only time band fit into their schedule.

The band director does his best to be very inclusive, anyone who wants to join band, can, no questions asked. So this leads to two things, 1)Some of his classes have 44 students, holy crap!. 2) He teaches in the afternoon at the elementary school… I read this in the description, after I accepted it, but I went along with it.

Elementary School:
My rule is "If I can't see them, I can't teach them" but, rules are meant to be broken so I ventured forth "Where no Gabe had gone before," well, as a teacher at least. I was greeted by a shoddy classroom, which is mostly used for storage, the door sticks and P.E. equipment, random toys and creepy dolls are everywhere… ok. My first class came in, a group of 3 boys and 3 girls, their behavior was, ok, I had to kind of lay down the stink eye on one kid, but he straightened up pretty quickly. Did I mention there was no student conductor? So, I put on my white whig, long coat tails and did my conducting debut. I figured I was just keeping things congruent, such as the start, and keeping time for the group. I think I did ok, it didn't seem like anyone was really paying attention to me.

My last period was with this really mousy girl, she was very sweet, and quiet.

"Hi there, so, you just want to practice the set list for the concert?"
"yes"
"Mary had a little lamb here we go"
"You wanna do clockwork next?"
"yes"
"Alrighty, should we start at measure 39?
"no, 44"


It was cute, and it made a great end to a fun day. I'm not sure that I want to go full force with this and do a full class day at the elementary school, this was definitely enough exposure for me, but it made me less apprehensive should I happen to have a split assignment again.

Band was great, I wish I could have followed along a little better, or have been more help, but it was ok the kids were good, and for the most part excited to be there. Band is one of those electives where the students actually want to be there, so the day is usually pretty good. Some electives, like "record keeping" the students are shoved there, but that is a story for another post.

Theatre, as I like it?

School Site: BHS
Subject: Theatre(stagecraft)

I usually take art classes when they are presented, they are usually pretty chill. Thus far I have subbed at a continuation school, which was just listening to students talk about drugs they had done, oh and there was a "personified letters" assignment too. I also subbed at a middle school where we we did a line art assignment, one period was pretty bad, but other than that it was a relaxed day. Then there was today, which was mostly stagecraft with a couple of acting classes mixed in.

I got there on time, which is actually late, so I'm rushing around to get to class, but I have no key, this school site is weird like that.  " oh we'll just send security over to open it up for you… and they never show up. It is a mission to get to the bathroom, and back. Luckily someone just happens to come out so I took the students in .

When the job is presented it is only under a category "Art/Ceramics," so I didn't really know what I was in for. When I saw the schedule I thought "Cool! Theatre!" While this is very cool, I did not take theatre in high school, so I was not privy  to the insanity, I was in speech and debate, but it was not nearly as cool, and I did not progress like I would have liked to. I got a taste of the theatre life in community college, but we were past this high school drama, and on to more centralized theatre drama. So when I got into this class I was expecting some insanity, but I was hoping for more "theatre geeks."

Periods 1&3 - Acting I

This class was loud and energetic, I was expecting this because, hey, they're actors, but they would work on their script for a little bit, gossip a lot of bit, and then maybe do another half assed read through, kind of disappointing, but I mean I wasn't their director so they really didn't have the motivation to go full out.

I have known for a long time that theatre people are one director dogs, we just get so attached to our directors, when they are good, and breaking that routine kind of throws off our whole mojo. Each day I was in this class there was always a student who walked in and was like "How is my favorite direc… oh he's not here today?=(." Sorry to disappoint, I'll make sure to wear a red wig and lose some weight so you wont feel so let down next time.

Periods 2,5&6- Intro to stage craft.

Being at Valley theatre we did a little bit of everything. The Scenic artist/carpenter/everything stagecraft, we just called him Jerry, didn't really have a crew, so we, the actors, always pitched in splitting wood, putting together sets, painting, building scaffolding, positioning lights, good times.

So I have some experience in this, but not to the extent these students are getting. They are starting with full make up and multi position costume design sheets, moving on to defining different aspects of the stage, interior sets, exterior sets, props, etc. My stagecraft experience was not formal, so this was fascinating to me, unfortunately this was not the case for most of his students.

Period 2 is made up of advanced and beginning students. The assignment was to have the students take notes on the descriptions I was giving them, and have them make a full make up and costume sheet off of it. Cool! I had a good time reading off the descriptions, even though my voice was waning. The students were less than enthused about the assignment, and the advanced students just talked, cuddled, and basically did everything they could to not pay attention, these are the one directors dogs I was talking about. It's unfortunate they didn't do the assignment that -their- director gave them, but I get that they are missing a crucial part of their day so, what could I do?

As apathetic as Period 2 seemed the last two periods out did them by far. They had a slightly different assignment, which was due at the end of the period. I received a whopping 3 papers from period 5 and about 5 from period 6, woo.

The day was good, I had double lunch, which is always a welcomed relief, but I was just hoping for more enthusiastic theatre students. "Intro to…" is a way to get "introduced" to things like theatre, so I suppose my aspirations were a little misguided.

Day 2

This was a late start day, so the day was short. This time I received a note from the director stating " If period 5 or 6 gets a bad note they will be taking notes the whole period for the rest of the quarter." Did periods 5 and 6 shape up? You better believe it. Well 5 did immensely better, 6 was still chatty. They just had to take notes on a video, so the assignment was cake, most of them turned in work, and I made sure to clean up before they came in so I could leave their mess for the director. This day was even better, I got to teach a little bit, and the students had the motivation to not be little jerks.

I hope I get a chance to see more of the theatre programs at these schools. This is an experience I wish I had, but I was extremely shy in high school, better late than never I suppose, who knows if I do a few more shows maybe I can teach one of these programs.  I do hope to return to the theatre someday, if only to continue what I started with a women I loved very much.
R.I.P Denise, from your one director dog. <3

In the land where I don't exist.

School site: CHS

Subject: Business Ed(?)

Sometimes it's a bit futile, but I do -try- to be a good sub, unfortunately today is one of those futile days.

I'm clicking through the assignments and I find "Business education," ooo a computer lab! I think to myself, this could be fun. In a way I guess it has been a pretty relaxed day, in fact I'm blogging from the class, this was however, after a sharp downward spike in caring.

Periods 1&2 : Sports Marketing

Wait, what? a class on "sports marketing?" There is a curriculum for this?  Sure enough there is a book, and everything, it has a band on the front with the title "Sports and Entertainment Marketing 2e," this book is from 2005 and I still haven't found a real academic value to it. Whoever sold this book to this program was a marketing genius themselves.

I always think electives are going to be calmer because I assume the students want to be there, sadly I underestimate the power of the all mighty apathy. The lesson plan seemed pretty straight forward, answer questions turn them in. Unfortunately the assignment only took most students 10 minutes. I tried to get students to stay off games and the Internet the first 2 periods, and was only successful for about 10 minutes of the period. Despite their lack of enthusiasm there were actually some people who turned some stuff in.

Periods: the rest of the day : Microsoft Word

Really? A class on Microsoft Word? I hope this is only a semester long class, I couldn't imagine the curriculum stretching much further than this. When I took this class it was "Microsoft office" i.e.; Word, Excel, Access, and PowerPoint, not just Word. The students in this class are about as lack luster as my enthusiasm is for a curriculum weak class like Word. By this point I had given up on being a patrolling games Nazi, and so I hear the agonizing sounds of getting fragged on Unreal tournament all period, how this was installed on the network I'm not sure, but in my day is was Wolfinstein, Unreal actually seems kind of dated. Others played "shell shock live," it looked interesting, it was a multi player 8 bit game of angles and artillery, kind of like a head to head missile command. The premise was to erode the other players platform, it looked fun, and the students were having a good time facing off against each other.

Computer classes have not changed much since I was in them, I remember my computer teacher being a lot more strict, I can tell this teacher is a lot more relaxed because there are students walking in and out, the place is trashed!, and generally no one really listens. The gaming has not changed much, in fact I have spent a lot of this post describing them, there is still network gaming, as the much preferred alternative to school work. Social networking is more prevalent, lots of tweeters, not too many facebookers though, I'm assuming because it might be blocked. I was just basically here for restroom passes and to make sure no one killed themselves, each other, or the equipment.

I would think computer classes might have evolved, I figure kids already have a base knowledge of computers at home, so they shouldn't need a "basic computing class" or "Microsoft Word," so maybe the class is dated, or I'm just out of touch with society.  I suppose if I ever want to catch up on my blogging I will take this class once again, but it has been an enlightening flashback kind of day.

I know it's your first time, and it's mine too!

School Site: THMS

Subject: P.E.

I see an assignment pop up, and it's P.E., ooo! there is a subject I haven't subbed for yet. *click* I'm at a middle school once again, like I said I don't mind, I've had experience with their age group, and I get to visit my homie during the day.

I made sure to dress appropriately, my button up shirts and jeans get enough abuse on a regular day. So I went to Wal-Mart and bought some sweat pants, unfortunately I could not find a pair of shorts that did not look like I had a balloon around my hips, and I was set to go. The only male P.E. teacher was someone I had worked with at the school where I did my student teaching, score! He explained what I needed to do, where I would be, etc etc, gave me some of his 3 habanero salsa 'O.O,

 good to go.

I went out greeted by cheers and uncertainty, as usual,  took role the -really- long way by calling out each student's name, instead of just figuring out which numbers were vacant, and sent them in to dress. Kids are gross and smelly, especially on a day that was looking to reach about 105˚, luckily there was an office with a pathetic air conditioner, but it was enough of a smell barrier.

All day the students just had to run a lap, and then continue walking or they could play soccer. All day it was "It's SO HOT!" Yeah, duh, while you have been inside, with your nice air conditioning, I have been out here getting sunburned, continue being active. I had to constantly be on the students to walk around the track instead of staying static in the nice shady areas, we all suffer together, sorry.

My day was pretty nice, I got some fresh air, I got sunburnt,  and the only elective was a first aid class, which was also cake. My only downfall for the day was the water fountain; the class was up on a hill so I would let first period just come and go as they pleased, well towards the end of the period I noticed half of the class was near the water fountain, which was near the locker rooms. By the time I figured out their game it was too late I could not retrieve them before the bell rang. I got a stern talking to by one of the other butchy P.E. teachers, I guess it's true what they say, and so I had to change up my game plan for the next periods. There was no longer a flood of kids by the water fountain, instead there was a group of bitchy 13 year olds at the top of the hill.

"I'm thirsty!"

"Then tell your buddy to stop dragging his feet"

"HEY!, GET YOUR ASS BACK UP HERE!"

"… Don't say 'ass'"

" Sorry"

The temperature got to the point where it was unsafe for the kids to be outside and active (95˚), so they just hung out, I made sure no one was causing harm to anyone, and we just talked video games the whole period.

I actually really enjoyed myself, I'm not very apprehensive about taking P.E. assignments, for the most part, unless I think about the fact that I'm trying to keep 50 monkeys in order, but I try not to think about that fact.

I liked teaching P.E. so much I started looking into taking the CSET in Physical Education, this would certify me to teach it and give me more job opportunities. Unfortunately the CSET was overly detailed, as usual, asking for things like; weight trends in America, government sponsored fitness programs throughout the years, and a myriad of kinesiology information that I would -never- use, so I decided to save my $200.

Not all assignments are bad, they are however unique, can't wait for another P.E. assignment though.

Flight attending is sounding -real- good right now.

School Site: RHMS

Subject: History. 

Quite possibly the worst assignment I have had thus far was subbing for a substitute. 

First a little background on the day, I had eaten some Del Taco the night before, this included their new carnitas burrito, and a large Vault, 'cause it's the only place that sells it now adays. It was quite delicious, but for some reason this meal was not a team player in the morning, I was nauseous, my head was pounding, and I didn't even drink the night before! I can do my retail job with half a brain but I really do make it a point to get sleep and not drink before I substitute teach, it's taxing enough without strenuous factors I can control. 

My mom has always been big on attendance, I used to joke that she would send me to school regardless of my "ailments." 

"But mom I'm seriously in pain…"

"That's nice honey, put a tourniquet on it and make sure the school calls me if it gets any worse"

So, as I always do I pressed on.  

Enter class from hell; there are a few factors against me in this situation. The teacher for this position was "vacancy" meaning there is no full time teacher for this position, meaning the students have had substitutes since the beginning of the school year and this was at least two months in, can you say "APATHY?" I walk in to a hand written note, because there are no computers in this classroom, a stack of papers,  and some post it notes. This is actually more than a lot of teachers leave except for the fact that I as much as I tried to explain the assignment the students seemed completely lost, as if I was in a science class assigning history work. 

I didn't have a whole lot of time to set up, so I hand out the assignment to the first class, do a super impromptu explanation of the assignment, and send the kids on their way.On top of this I get a note and another stack of papers from another class "Please do this assignment today." Crap, ok so once again I had to work quickly to figure out and explain the assignment, this reminds me of stand up, without the comedy.  During my explanation I ask the students to be quiet multiple times, I address one student in particular, who rolls her eyes and continues talking... really? Alrighty off to the office you go! "What did I do wrong?!?" >.<  This is not the first time I have had trouble with this student, the previous time it took about 5 minutes for me to calm her down and explain that is she just gave me a -moment- to explain the assignment she wouldn't be so lost. This student is apparently a moron however because she just continued to talk over me, 

"Why do I have to do this assignment?" 

" well if.." 

"I already did this," 

" Ok, but…" 

" You're making us do stuff I did already!"

"PLEASE LET ME TALK!"

Guh! Incredibly frustrating and rude! You're at school to listen to the teacher, whoever that may be for the day, and do work, there is no need to argument, this is not a Democracy, I'm not asking you to do hard labor, I just want you to write on your paper for 50 minutes, THAT's ALL, sit down, shut up and stop being so rude! Is what I wish I could have said.

Headache not gone yet. 

Incident #2 (still first period) 

I understand having a sub is seen as a "free day" the student has no need to make an emotional connection for the day, I will not be able to obtain their respect within this day. This is also apparently a time to use the restroom, I usually feel out the class, and try to let those classes go to the restroom who will not abuse this freedom. Once one person goes to the restroom it's sometimes downhill from there, all of the sudden there is a line I'm having kids take a number and everyone want to go out for some fresh air. My only request is they ask, do not tell me they are going to the restroom, I'm the captain of the ship, for the day,  and if someone gets hurt while they are out of my sight that is on me. 

This one student decided to -tell me- he was going to the restroom, my response to this of course is "No." He continued to ask, and I continued to deny him, until he just walked out. You can tell if someone really has to go, you can see the, floating, or dancing, or some kind of tell, this punk just wanted to roam around, which I probably would have let do if he just -asked-. No such luck, I call security, and have them pick him up, he comes in quietly later and picks up his work, which he wasn't doing anyway. 

Did I mention this was still only first period? The classes that followed were slightly more mellow, but once again they did not have a full time teacher, so there was no set order, no discipline plan was really in effect aside from the school's discipline plan, which the students were not intimidated by what so ever, it was a mess. 

This was the only assignment I have thought of walking out on, seriously. What's the worse that could happen? I get fired, I move on  and become a flight attendant, travel around a little bit, this seemed a far more enticing option that day. I stuck it out, however, I came back, regrouped, explained things in even more detail, and made sure to set down my expectations at the beginning of class. 

Yes, I did apply for this position, if you were curious, there were actually a few available throughout the district, and I just kept thinking how ironic it would be if I ended up with this class. My immediate reaction was just to write a referral a day until the students got the message, but I didn't end up getting the job, for better or for worse, I'm not sure.

I survived, but I learned some very valuable lessons, Vault no longer agrees with me,  and if I see "vacancy," unless it's roving, I should think three times before taking the assignment.  I have avoided assignments at this school since this day. I did my student teaching at a middle school, I'm actually used to this craziness, but the kids at this school are even too much for me to handle.  

Good until Period 6

School Site: BMS

Subject: History. 

I still keep in contact with my resident teacher, he's an awesome guy, and he was such an incredible help. So, I usually sub for his class when he is out for Union business, which is at least once a month, as well as any other miscellaneous days he may be out. The unfortunate part is he just makes the posting and usually doesn't contact me. He has my number, and my email, yet he just hopes I happen to run across the posting? That's neither here nor there. 

Mr. L has a way with his students, he has been at BMS for 8 years and I really get the sense that his great management comes from a combination of his confidence and understanding of those crazy middle school kids. He mentions he was a bad kid when he was growing up, so he is really able to figure out even the worst kids.  I have mentioned previously that I was always a good kid, so unfortunately I am in the dark in dealing with the bad kids. 

The first day I subbed for him this year was definitely a notable one. I have access to his computer, and thus the projector and powerpoint. He has first period prep, which is great because I usually get a chance to throw together a powerpoint presentation for his class. He's a bit old school in this regard, despite being a young guy with a Smart Board, his classroom is like geek teacher heaven for me. I have a great time putting together the powerpoint presentations, looking up pictures to put in them, and creating a sequential slide the kids can follow along with. I can control all this from the Smart Board, which in turn gives me the attention of more of the students versus being behind the computer. 

Second period used to be AVID, so actual classes did not start until 3rd period.  3rd and 4th period were my classes so my resident teacher often didn't do squat until after lunch, while I was there. This was my first introduction to this year's kids ok, show time. I introduced myself, laid out my expectations, let them know I was just as capable of writing them referrals and then explained the assignment for the day. 

The assignment he usually leaves me is a reading assignment, this was what I did most of last year so I'm very comfortable conducting this lesson. I usually make a slide for each vocab word, I ask for volunteers to read the the different sections, then I elaborate on each section and go over the answer with them. 

Second period wasn't horrible, there were a few talkers, especially amongst this group of boys in the back left side of the class, but other than that they are quiet, and responsive. 

3rd Period: more talkers, nothing outrageous. 

4th Period: AVID, I'm usually there on a thursday, which is tutorial day, so the students pretty much are on auto pilot. Most of their questions have to do with math, which I suck at! Unfortunately I'm just an observer in this class, I'm there for bathroom passes at the most. On occasion there is a history question, but those are few and far between. Mrs. L-S and Mr L make AVID look really good, they are trying to become a display school, and this has unfortunately been an uphill battle where observation days have just not been great, I really feel for them they work hard and Mrs. L-S is a really great teacher. 

5th period: This was a very intimidating period at first. Out of a possible 36 seats 33 of them have students in them, this many students in one confined space can be a challenge.  I am incredibly happy that this period has a lot of special needs students mixed with a lot of plain ol' good students. Despite their intimidating size they are very well behaved and attentive *phew.*

Then life goes to shit. (Ok a little dramatic but still, it's not fun)

6th period: Without warning I am greeted by a bunch of LOUD students. Students are usually loud at the beginning of the period, and granted this was after lunch but it was really a bombardment of noise. "Hey!… that's not how we come into a classroom, so settle down." The roar mellows out to a dull one, I take roll, and begin my lesson just as I did the other classes. 

"My Name is Mr. C, Mr L is out today, Quiet please, (I address the bell work), quiet please, ( at this point I was still getting to know the names of the trouble students), S! please be quiet. Today we will be reading, excuse me! Today we will be reading, K please be quiet. We're reading about the Boston Massacre, excuse me! when someone is talking it is very rude, and disrespectful to talk over them." 

This is pretty much how my period goes each time I have this class. I wouldn't feel so guilty if it was the whole class, but really it is only about 6 students out of 26, and it's frustrating because there are nice quiet students in this class, but these six simply do not get it, they think because there is a sub that this is free time. 

This is my first encounter with this class, and it's not a pleasant one. We barely get through the material because of the constant interruption. By this point I'm just ready to start sending students out if they act up, there is no On Campus Suspension, so I just need to send them out to AVID. 

7th period: It is unfortunate that I am so wound up from the period before, but I make it clear to this period that I am in no mood for misbehavior. It's weird, and I'm certain it's merely my conviction by this point, but the class behaves well. I'll later figure out this is a just a good class, a great way to end the day. 

Most teachers leave a bit of warning for some really troubled classes, I'm thinking my resident teacher either didn't think to do this, or was just looking to see how I would deal. I survived but I will be looking for ways to better manage this class in the future. Because my resident teacher is so good, he is often left with these trouble makers. This is the only period they are all together in, the other teachers have protested to break them up otherwise. These students will continue to allude me, some days I wonder if I'm cut out to be a teacher. I tell myself this is hard because I'm only there for one day and they really have no attachment to me, they may never see me again, so stick it out wait to make a decision to leave the profession for when I actually have my own class. 

I make this promise here though, I will learn from all the teachers who leave me crap lesson plans, or none at all and make sure to leave my sub something that will take up more than an hour, have it due at the end of the period, and give some sort of incentive for a good report. 

Until then everyday I'm Sub-sti-tuting. 

Talk to The Hand

School Site: THMS

Subject: Math

THMS is the highest scoring middle school in the district. The teachers are usually older, and the students usually come from the affluent GT area nearby, it's where all the white people ran to. 

I like coming to this site for many reasons; I have a buddy who is a custodian, it's the closest school to home and GameStop, so I can get to work easily, and the kids are often pretty good.

The first class I had here had the fear of god in them and it was bliss. It was a history class, the students had an individual worksheet to work on and life was bliss. I  sat at the head of the class made sure no one was destroying property and helped them out with the worksheet. This of course was encouraging when it came to taking other jobs at this site, sub day at THMS? Yes please!

Unfortunately not all teachers are quite as effective as this history teacher was, and I found this out the hard way. 

Many of the classes I have subbed for at THMS have been Math classes. Graduates know how it feels to be in a class for 3-4 hours, we're either asleep, researching anything but the classes subject, or finding new and inventive forms of suicide, 3-4 hours is rough! Now imagine your are fresh out of elementary school and because you did not test well in math the district feels you need a double block of this in order to give you more practice. So, you are now stuck in a subject your struggle with for 2 consecutive hours, I feel for them,  this sucks for them, and it sucks for me. The trend goes that the first period they are usually pretty good, they this is a fresh start, they are trying to figure out what the assignment is for the day, who this new strange person is in the class, etc. Unfortunately second period is not so calm, the students have reached their wits end by this period and so they are loud, obnoxious and incredibly restless. 

The math class I had for the day seemed simple enough, periods 1-6, 7th period off and I was good togo. I've had previous math classes that were double blocked, it wasn't so bad, the students were still restless by the second period, but nothing obnoxious or out of the ordinary. 

Periods 1/2:

Today's class was a completely different story. The assignment for each class was to do a practice test. The first class was very talkative, there was an aid for the resource kids, and the two of us combined were ineffective in quieting this chatty off task first block of classes. Will I have help each period? "Nope" replied the aid as she booked it out the door. Crap. 

Period 3/4:

Alright, new block, lay out my rules, lay out the assignment for the day, and hopefully things should be uneventful. This would be a great plan, if it were not for one asshole kid. Now hear me out as explain just how disrespectful one kid can be. The second period of this block, of course, UO starts chatting, talking to other students around him, and in general just being annoying. I call him out on this multiple times, 

"Blue jay (because of his Toronto Blue Jays Shirt) knock it off!" 

"My name is not 'Blue Jay'"

" Then what is your name?"

"…" 

"Blue Jay I'm asking you once again, knock it off!"

Finally I say, 

"You have 5 seconds to calm down before I call security to take you to the Vp's office."

 He responds to this by mocking my count down, cool, off ya go! While I'm trying to figure out phone this little punk packs up his stuff, gives me the "talk to the hand" gesture and walks out. Still not remembering what the extension was I called my custodian buddy and give him a heads up about the situation. He says they picked up the kid, and everything was cool. His punishment was pretty lax because I saw him headed to his class the next period. I was pretty calm during the situation, but I have never experienced that level of disrespect in my life, and especially not by a 7th grader. I made sure write him a referral, he already had a few in his file, which means this was not an isolated incident, but seriously what kind of parent raises such a monster? I was always a good kid in school so I really do not understand this bad kid behavior. 

Periods 5/6 (almost finished)

Right away there were two girls who was just talking non stop. I was explaining the assignment, I explained the previous period was bad and I was in no mood for bad behavior. But middle schoolers, in all their infinite wisdom, assume that when I can't see them I also have temporary deafness, I have never figure out this "logic." The two girls continue to disruptively communicate across the classroom. If I hear one more peep out of you, you're headed to the office " ok." I turn around and see one of the girls flailing her arms, "Alright see ya!" "But Mr. C! I was just counting," unfortunately I have learned not to take the word of a 7th grader in trouble, they are masterful with their excuses. I send her and her buddy up to the VP's office and was rewarded with a class that remained quiet for the rest of the two periods, yes!

I haven't been subbing for a long time, and the students are usually unresponsive, I get it, I'm only there for a day, "You're not my real teacher!" Most days I'm just a well payed babysitter, but I will never understand or tolerate the level of disrespect I experienced today. My biggest request that the students remain quiet, and not kill each other, but I never belittle them in front of the class or tell them they are fat, "gay", or smelly, and believe me some days they smell! They are kids and they do not deserve an environment they do not feel safe or comfortable in. Conversely I do not deserve a direct defiance or showboating at my expense. That's the real unfortunate part too, most of the bad shit that goes down is just so they can look cool in front of their peers, one on one most of these students are incredibly responsive.  Sure I can joke about this situation in retrospect, but man that really pissed me off.  Being a sub sucks because they're not your kids, they don't care, and somedays you get assholes. Just need to stick it out until my opportunity arrives, wish me luck!  

P.E. day is a very dangerous day.

I wanted to start chronicling substitute teaching adventures, and to date there have been plenty. There will probably a lot of back and forth to begin with, whenever possible I will attempt to remember some older, yet equally as impressionable days. I'm old, and my memory is patchy, so hang in there with me. 

School site: BMS

Subject: Roving(am) PE(afternoon)

This is where I did my student teaching, so I love this school. I know a lot of the teachers, the students are not completely ghetto, and in general I have a decent experience when I go, there have been exceptions though. 

The morning started off great, I was a roving sub for those teachers who needed to sit in on Individual Education Plan (IEP) meetings. Cake! I subbed for one teacher in the computer lab for all of 20 minutes, just make sure the kids are not looking at porn and I'm golden! One student, a girl, asked to look up ring worm. Sure? The disgusted looks and consecutive "ewwwwwws" were hilarious. I told her, however,  stop getting grossed out, please don't throw up in the class, and figure out what it is, what causes it. This is middle school, however, and, yeah that didn't happen, oh well. 

From here I helped a class of really struggling english learners and kids with special needs. They were working on persuasive paragraph structure, something I constantly for granted. The break down was simple to me, "The school board planning on getting rid of are classes in your school, argue for or against this." They had to write a topic sentence, 2 supporting points with 4 examples each and then combine this, use your topic sentence and your key points to create your opening paragraph. This would probably be easy for them if they could focus, but like I said many of them have special needs, like ADD. "Mr. C what do I do ?" The book spells it out for you pretty well, what are your topics? " I don't know" … >.<. Saved by the bell, from there I only had to work with those who were really struggling with it, which was a small group, instead of a large class of blank faces, who were able to get their paragraphs going, but their grammar was atrocious, one step at a time I suppose. 

After the special needs kids I just helped the teacher prep for her class by dividing math tiles equally to her group packets, this was fun and elementary. Each packet turned out to need 5 5X5 tiles 7 1X5 tiles and 15 1X1 tiles. Some packets had copious amounts of 1X1 tiles, and some had 5,  but i eventually figured things out. 

Lunch time, so I'm done "Yep have a good day Mr. Collu… Mr. C." Thanks! Byeee! 

Lunch was uneventful, just listening to the teachers gossip in the teachers lounge, followed by catching up with my resident teacher, which is always nice. This also gave me time for a wardrobe change followed by P.E. 

Oh goody! I usually love P.E. it's 50 uncontrollable monkeys, but they're on a field and for the most part the periods are just making sure no one is bleeding or passed out. Today, on the other hand, was Fucking Chaos!. The 2 out of 3 P.E. teachers went off to the softball game, which left the main P.E. teacher, myself and a regular teacher on their prep period. Instead of the field where kids could spread out, play soccer, walk do whatever, they shoved an average of 100 kids into a space the size of the Krikorian lobby, that's like sticking everyone in Disneyland just in Fantasy land, AHHHHHH!!!! I'm guessing the theory behind this was the teachers could keep a better eye on them in this confined space, what they failed to take into account was that there were a ton of basketballs and kids running around and not enough room for all of these activities. 

Period 6: There was a group of about 20 students congealed on the far side of the courts, this is never a good situation, so I would periodically patrol by them, to which they would respond by covering up their actions audibly "shh teacher! So, about those fractions…," and moving this congealed group away from any teachers. There was no screaming or human sacrifice so there wasn't much I could do, students will be students. 

There was a student who I was following all day, I was either helping him with his science test, making it clear I was not his buddy as he tried to showboat in English, and he just happened to come to P.E. too. IS, why is your shirt ripped? "Can you write me a referral?" What? just go to the office IS. Finally the other teacher, who was on her prep period intervened. "What are you doing here?" (with attitude) "I came from the office" "Where is your pass?" (more attitude) "The security guard walked me down, ask him!" "Student! there is no need for this attitude, come I will walk you to the office." A sad fact of teaching I get more respect from products of male chauvinistic house holds simply because I am a man. 

Period 7: These kids were just wound up with a rubber band, "It's time to go home!!!!," you know, after 52 minutes of chaos. 

No congealed masses of kids this period, these kids were either sitting on the side of pure bundles of energy moving the whole time. This included a group of students playing soccer, in this tiny confined space(?). You shouldn't play soccer in here, there isn't enough room, "They let us!" … the minute that hurts someone… "You get the ball." Why didn't I just take the ball right then and there? They did ok for most of the period, a few bumps to a couple of students heads, some students would duck out of the way of the on coming basketball, and then the inevitable happens. One of the tallest kids goes for a goal, the goal is on his right, the ball goes to his left, right into the bridge/nose of a young girl sitting on the side -_-. Shit! check for blood, no blood, she's not passed out, ok, she's good… ish. the bridge of her nose is swollen, and I'm sure her day is pretty much done, but the important part is I didn't lose a kid. Took the ball away, had her walked up the the nurse, who of course just gave her an ice pack, and she went home. 

I can't be everywhere at once, but I should have known better, really that was just a recipe for disaster. The period ended, and no other students were hurt, thank goodness! Spoke with the other teacher who was doing nothing to pay attention to the hornets nest around her. Told her about my arthritis to which she responded, "Oh yeah I had high blood pressure when I finished my student teaching, it's fine now though." Oh good! I'm not the only one debilitated by the stress. 

The period ended and as a parting gift the boys decided to yell, scream, smack the lockers, and in general just make as much noise as possible in that loud echoey locker room. Thanks, assholes. 

I survived! A casual day turned to hell rather quickly, but that's how it goes, definitely took Friday off.