Dr. Gabe and Mr. Sub

Substituting from day to day makes me feel like I have split personalities, this may be more of a personality trait than a reaction to substituting, but I digress. My day is governed by so many factors; kids (32 different ones every 50 minutes), location, age, etc, the only constant I have is that I wake up at 6am, if I have a job and I get out of school, eventually, sometime during the daylight hours. Everything that happens in between is  anyone's guess. Take my last 3 days for example, (no really);

School Site: THMS: 

Subject: Math

I have substituted for this teacher multiple times, both back when I was more of a Nazi than a babysitter, and also during my more apathetic days, so I knew, more or less, how his class worked, and how his students felt about him/ treated him.   

Monday

I was a little apprehensive to enter this class, I did not hear the name correctly, but I liked the school site so I accepted it anyway, and later found out it was a class I have had previous rough experiences with. I started this day expecting to write out a lot of detentions, send kids to the office, just the usual rigmarole that comes with 8th graders. What I got in return was this weird parallel universe where the kids were well behaved, most students were on task, and in general just a pleasantly surprising nice day. 

The only thing to note was a kid with ADD who added "Your mom... " to everything that was being said. I gave him taste of his own medicine when he was commenting " how is this possible?" and I responded "You're mom is possible." This was met with a roar of "OOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo" from the class, but I think the kid took it well, I haven't received any angry phone calls... yet. Yeah, we were real mature in there that day.

Tuesday

Apparently my nausea in the morning was my transition back into the real world because the little hellions were back! These are block classes, so I am held captive by the children of lord of the flies for 2 hours at a time. The first block of classes was ok, and then it rapidly went downhill from there. 

The second block of classes want to listen to their ipods during class, so I gave them some incentive yesterday, if everyone finished their work I would let them listen to their ipods, which worked great yesterday, but if I had done that today I would be punishing those who were on task unnecessarily.  The down side to this is the knuckleheads who "don't feel like doing work," (man I wish I had that option at my job), continue to do nothing but chat about their very important middle school lives (?) But hey, they are freshmen now, there isn't going to be a whole lot of hand holding in high school, better they realize the consequences now. I told this one girl I would tell her dad she was not working when I saw him at job #2, to which she whined and complained saying how uncool it was that I was threatening her just to get her to do work. I let her know this was a no threat, I am more than happy to let parents know how their kids are doing =D. She completed a total of one assignment, out of 2,  in the two hours she was there, I do not consider this being productive, can't wait to see her dad next time. 

The third block is usually a little more productive but as I mentioned different kids produce different results. There was a student here today who was not here yesterday, and  he made all the difference. It started off with a pencil being given to him to which he replies to the girl " This smells funny, I know what you've been doing with this, that's gross," and then he proceeds to throw the pencil haphazardly behind him. I told him to pick it up three times, each time a little more sternly, to which he replies " it really does smell though..." so I wrote him down for a detention. He comes to me later and says " Hey I picked up the pencil can I get my name off of the list?" Um, No, how about doing it the first time and not giving me crap about it, and how about doing some work too, he says again "because it smelled..." He comes to me  a second time " Hey I've been doing work, and I picked up that pencil... it really did smell..." as if I'm blind and have not seen him playing a game with other classmates the whole time. Then to top this off, I'm assuming on a dare, he rocks this kid in the nads, running start and everything. There is no altercation but don't touch another student like that in front of me!  " Really dude? You expect me to take your name off of the list?" I call security and have him escorted out. 

School site: BHS

Subject: Math

Wednesday

Today I am peacefully blogging in a Trig/Calc/ AVID class. A rowdy game of UNO, but no nut shots.

Humans are creatures of habit, I order the same thing every time I go to Lucille's, prisoner's feel more comfortable in prison because they have a routine much in the same way students need a schedule and some sort of pattern to their school day in order to progress academically. I don't feel that as a substitute I have achieved this pattern-like day for myself. I ran into someone today who was hired at the school site I am at, but finished the credential program at the same time I did. On the one hand I feel a little defeated, she has come out ahead partially because she chose Math and I chose History. On the other hand I am insanely happy for her and it gives me hope that I too will get to my own classroom.  Her trials and tribulations have been equally as hard as my own because she started two months ago, at the end of the year, her students are low level, and she gotten comments like "I forget I need to go slower for you because you are an ELL," from her fellow colleagues. Despite all this it's encouraging to see that someone from my school made it, even if it's only temporary. 

So, to go back where it all started, I feel like I have two personalities, regular, everyday, calm, blogging in the back Dr. Gabe, and Anxious, calling security, writing up referrals Mr. Sub. I still feel it will be an incredible relief to get a full time position, even if everything else is still chaotic, it will be nice to have that constant in my life. 

It feels like I am still on the river while many of my friends have set up camp on the banks, lucky for me I've always viewed life from an Easter perspective and so I go with the flow.  I'm still optimistic for my life though, and hey, if I didn't have such a crazy experiences, what would I write about?

I know it's your first time, and it's mine too!

School Site: THMS

Subject: P.E.

I see an assignment pop up, and it's P.E., ooo! there is a subject I haven't subbed for yet. *click* I'm at a middle school once again, like I said I don't mind, I've had experience with their age group, and I get to visit my homie during the day.

I made sure to dress appropriately, my button up shirts and jeans get enough abuse on a regular day. So I went to Wal-Mart and bought some sweat pants, unfortunately I could not find a pair of shorts that did not look like I had a balloon around my hips, and I was set to go. The only male P.E. teacher was someone I had worked with at the school where I did my student teaching, score! He explained what I needed to do, where I would be, etc etc, gave me some of his 3 habanero salsa 'O.O,

 good to go.

I went out greeted by cheers and uncertainty, as usual,  took role the -really- long way by calling out each student's name, instead of just figuring out which numbers were vacant, and sent them in to dress. Kids are gross and smelly, especially on a day that was looking to reach about 105˚, luckily there was an office with a pathetic air conditioner, but it was enough of a smell barrier.

All day the students just had to run a lap, and then continue walking or they could play soccer. All day it was "It's SO HOT!" Yeah, duh, while you have been inside, with your nice air conditioning, I have been out here getting sunburned, continue being active. I had to constantly be on the students to walk around the track instead of staying static in the nice shady areas, we all suffer together, sorry.

My day was pretty nice, I got some fresh air, I got sunburnt,  and the only elective was a first aid class, which was also cake. My only downfall for the day was the water fountain; the class was up on a hill so I would let first period just come and go as they pleased, well towards the end of the period I noticed half of the class was near the water fountain, which was near the locker rooms. By the time I figured out their game it was too late I could not retrieve them before the bell rang. I got a stern talking to by one of the other butchy P.E. teachers, I guess it's true what they say, and so I had to change up my game plan for the next periods. There was no longer a flood of kids by the water fountain, instead there was a group of bitchy 13 year olds at the top of the hill.

"I'm thirsty!"

"Then tell your buddy to stop dragging his feet"

"HEY!, GET YOUR ASS BACK UP HERE!"

"… Don't say 'ass'"

" Sorry"

The temperature got to the point where it was unsafe for the kids to be outside and active (95˚), so they just hung out, I made sure no one was causing harm to anyone, and we just talked video games the whole period.

I actually really enjoyed myself, I'm not very apprehensive about taking P.E. assignments, for the most part, unless I think about the fact that I'm trying to keep 50 monkeys in order, but I try not to think about that fact.

I liked teaching P.E. so much I started looking into taking the CSET in Physical Education, this would certify me to teach it and give me more job opportunities. Unfortunately the CSET was overly detailed, as usual, asking for things like; weight trends in America, government sponsored fitness programs throughout the years, and a myriad of kinesiology information that I would -never- use, so I decided to save my $200.

Not all assignments are bad, they are however unique, can't wait for another P.E. assignment though.

Talk to The Hand

School Site: THMS

Subject: Math

THMS is the highest scoring middle school in the district. The teachers are usually older, and the students usually come from the affluent GT area nearby, it's where all the white people ran to. 

I like coming to this site for many reasons; I have a buddy who is a custodian, it's the closest school to home and GameStop, so I can get to work easily, and the kids are often pretty good.

The first class I had here had the fear of god in them and it was bliss. It was a history class, the students had an individual worksheet to work on and life was bliss. I  sat at the head of the class made sure no one was destroying property and helped them out with the worksheet. This of course was encouraging when it came to taking other jobs at this site, sub day at THMS? Yes please!

Unfortunately not all teachers are quite as effective as this history teacher was, and I found this out the hard way. 

Many of the classes I have subbed for at THMS have been Math classes. Graduates know how it feels to be in a class for 3-4 hours, we're either asleep, researching anything but the classes subject, or finding new and inventive forms of suicide, 3-4 hours is rough! Now imagine your are fresh out of elementary school and because you did not test well in math the district feels you need a double block of this in order to give you more practice. So, you are now stuck in a subject your struggle with for 2 consecutive hours, I feel for them,  this sucks for them, and it sucks for me. The trend goes that the first period they are usually pretty good, they this is a fresh start, they are trying to figure out what the assignment is for the day, who this new strange person is in the class, etc. Unfortunately second period is not so calm, the students have reached their wits end by this period and so they are loud, obnoxious and incredibly restless. 

The math class I had for the day seemed simple enough, periods 1-6, 7th period off and I was good togo. I've had previous math classes that were double blocked, it wasn't so bad, the students were still restless by the second period, but nothing obnoxious or out of the ordinary. 

Periods 1/2:

Today's class was a completely different story. The assignment for each class was to do a practice test. The first class was very talkative, there was an aid for the resource kids, and the two of us combined were ineffective in quieting this chatty off task first block of classes. Will I have help each period? "Nope" replied the aid as she booked it out the door. Crap. 

Period 3/4:

Alright, new block, lay out my rules, lay out the assignment for the day, and hopefully things should be uneventful. This would be a great plan, if it were not for one asshole kid. Now hear me out as explain just how disrespectful one kid can be. The second period of this block, of course, UO starts chatting, talking to other students around him, and in general just being annoying. I call him out on this multiple times, 

"Blue jay (because of his Toronto Blue Jays Shirt) knock it off!" 

"My name is not 'Blue Jay'"

" Then what is your name?"

"…" 

"Blue Jay I'm asking you once again, knock it off!"

Finally I say, 

"You have 5 seconds to calm down before I call security to take you to the Vp's office."

 He responds to this by mocking my count down, cool, off ya go! While I'm trying to figure out phone this little punk packs up his stuff, gives me the "talk to the hand" gesture and walks out. Still not remembering what the extension was I called my custodian buddy and give him a heads up about the situation. He says they picked up the kid, and everything was cool. His punishment was pretty lax because I saw him headed to his class the next period. I was pretty calm during the situation, but I have never experienced that level of disrespect in my life, and especially not by a 7th grader. I made sure write him a referral, he already had a few in his file, which means this was not an isolated incident, but seriously what kind of parent raises such a monster? I was always a good kid in school so I really do not understand this bad kid behavior. 

Periods 5/6 (almost finished)

Right away there were two girls who was just talking non stop. I was explaining the assignment, I explained the previous period was bad and I was in no mood for bad behavior. But middle schoolers, in all their infinite wisdom, assume that when I can't see them I also have temporary deafness, I have never figure out this "logic." The two girls continue to disruptively communicate across the classroom. If I hear one more peep out of you, you're headed to the office " ok." I turn around and see one of the girls flailing her arms, "Alright see ya!" "But Mr. C! I was just counting," unfortunately I have learned not to take the word of a 7th grader in trouble, they are masterful with their excuses. I send her and her buddy up to the VP's office and was rewarded with a class that remained quiet for the rest of the two periods, yes!

I haven't been subbing for a long time, and the students are usually unresponsive, I get it, I'm only there for a day, "You're not my real teacher!" Most days I'm just a well payed babysitter, but I will never understand or tolerate the level of disrespect I experienced today. My biggest request that the students remain quiet, and not kill each other, but I never belittle them in front of the class or tell them they are fat, "gay", or smelly, and believe me some days they smell! They are kids and they do not deserve an environment they do not feel safe or comfortable in. Conversely I do not deserve a direct defiance or showboating at my expense. That's the real unfortunate part too, most of the bad shit that goes down is just so they can look cool in front of their peers, one on one most of these students are incredibly responsive.  Sure I can joke about this situation in retrospect, but man that really pissed me off.  Being a sub sucks because they're not your kids, they don't care, and somedays you get assholes. Just need to stick it out until my opportunity arrives, wish me luck!